What Caz Means

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

Early Saturday afternoon at Comic-Con International in San Diego, Ballroom 20 was stuffed to capacity for what moderator Jeph Loeb called the "'Heroes' Thank You."

Rumor has it that even "Heroes" staff writer Bryan Fuller could not be admitted after the doors were closed. At last year's Comic-Con, "Heroes" debuted the 72-minute "Heroes" pilot, and the cast and crew of the show said the success they're enjoying now is due in no small part to the fans who watched the pilot last year and spread the word.

Loeb first brought out panelist Jack Coleman (HRG a.k.a. Noah Bennett), who was sporting a white t-shirt with the word "I'm just a paper salesman" hastily scrawled across the front. Next up was Noah Gray-Cabey (Micah), followed by Greg Grunberg (Parkman), the latter wearing a custom-made t-shirt reading "Milo is my hero." Then Loeb brought out Ali Larter (Niki/Jessica) and James Kyson Lee. Masi Oka (Hiro) came out wearing a custom "Hayden is my Hero" t-shirt, and the cheerleader herself, Hayden Panettiere was hot on his heels. Then Adrian Pasdar (Nathan), Zachary Quinto (Sylar) and Sendhil Ramamurthy (Mohinder) took the stage, followed by new Season 2 cast member Dania Ramieriez (Maya). The last to take the stage were Milo Ventimiglia (Peter), artist Tim Sale and series creator and executive producer Tim Kring.

Kring kicked off the panel with a heartfelt thank-you to all of the fans who supported the young show at last year's Comic-Con. Loeb then announced the winner of NBC.com's "Heroes" Graphic Novel Contest (Andrew Chandler). Loeb also told the assembled fans that Ubisoft is currently working on a "Heroes" video game. And with that, Loeb opened up the floor to Q&A.

First up, a fan professed his and his wife's love for Greg Grunberg's character.

"Yes, I swing," the actor responded without skipping a beat. (Hmmmmmmm)

One audience member asked the cast to sound off on their best memories from season 1. Grunberg liked playing future, badass Parkman, Hayden cited the scene in the first-season finale when she jumped out the window, and Coleman said his favorite moment was episode 11, when he went from a guest star to a series regular.

"You wanted more HRG, you got more HRG," Loeb said.

Loeb took a moment to single out the writing and directing staff in the audience, who stood to an ovation from the crowd.

"This show happens in the writers' room first," Kring said. He went on to describe himself and the rest of the show's writers as a "league of heroic scribblers."

Throughout the first season, supplemental graphic-novel content by artist Tim Sale was posted on the "Heroes" Web site at NBC.com. Loeb announced that this fall, Wildstorm would be releasing a collection of all the online material, and gave the audience a peek at cover images by Alex Ross and Him Lee.

As an aside, Grunberg blurted out, "Being this close to Sendhil, he is gorgeous." Then Ramamurthy planted what appeared to be a wet kiss on his fellow cast member's lips. (Yeow! HOT!)

Next up, Kring addressed "Heroes: Origins," the six episode spin-off that will air over six consecutive weeks starting in April of next year. Each episode will be stand-alone and feature a new hero coming to terms with their powers. Since participating in "Origins" only requires a one-episode commitment, Kring has compiled a short list of ideal writers and directors they'd like to bring into the "Heroes" family.

Then, they made an announcement which apparently surprised even the cast: Kevin Smith had signed on to do an episode. Smith then took the stage himself, and recounted his first conversation with Kring about the opportunity.

"I'd love to write and direct an episode about the two gay heroes," Smith had told Kring. "The Japanese dudes, they're gay, right?"

Smith said having the opportunity to write and direct an episode of "Origins" was an honor: He and his wife had plowed through the first season.

"I just don't wanna be the guy that ruins 'Heroes,'" Smith admitted.

Grunberg, who is a childhood friend of writer/director J.J. Abrams, volunteered Abrams' as another option to helm an episode of "Origins."

Then actor Danny Bonaduce took the Q&A microphone and asked if the cast members "live and die" by each script. The answer was a resounding yes.

"It keeps you on your toes," Larter said.

"When they cancel your hit show, your life kind of sucks for a while," Bonaduce warned.

In the past, Pasdar has heralded Nathan Petrelli as more evil than his amoral character Profit from a show of the same name. One fan asked if Pasdar still felt that way after Nathan's self-sacrificing act of redemption in the season one finale.

"One has a moral code, the other is a politician," Pasdar, the husband of Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines, reiterated.

Another fan accused Hiro and Ando of being the "least traditionally masculine" heroes on the show.

"Wait until season two," Oka teased.

When asked if Uluru, the rock monster that graced the cover of an early issue of the comic "9th Wonders," would be making an appearance in the show proper, Kring said the monster only existed in the pages of the comic book.

"This show doesn't posit an ending," Kring said, when asked how long the series would run. Shows like "Lost," to which "Heroes" is oft compared, have a built-in end point, but "Heroes" is open-ended, he said.

One female fan asked if we could expect to see strong female characters who aren't cheerleaders or strippers. Loeb promised that new cast-member Ramirez's character fits that bill. And Kring pointed out that even Claire and Niki grew and evolved by the end of the first season.

Before it was revealed that Peter Petrelli was Claire's uncle, many "Heroes" fans wanted to see those two characters get together. One fan asked if there was still any chance of that happening.

"Not only are we related, but my character's younger than me," Panettiere said. Ventimiglia believes the two characters share a strong bond, but neither actors foresees it turning into a romance.

Kring got in the last word. He said the huge, diverse community that has grown out of the show's fan base is "all a metaphor for what the show's really about." In a few months' time, he said, Kring intends to start a dialogue with the audience about how to channel that passion and commitment into acts of philanthropy.

The cast and crew are still early in the production of season two, but fans were treated to a brief trailer for the upcoming season. Highlights include a scene between Parkman and Molly Walker in which she is accosted by the malevolent figure she alluded to at the end of Season 1, and a scene in which Claire appears to be about to cut off her own toe.

Everyone in the audience walked away with two "Heroes" convention exclusives: an issue of the "Heroes" comic, and the first-run packaging for the first season of "Heroes" on DVD.

Season two of "Heroes" premiers on September 24th.

-------------------YATTA!!!!------------------------ (of course, I just had to add this)

I Got ARAGORN.... :)

Putting your appointed path ahead of any inner conflicts, you make your own rules for the benefit of all.

If my life or death I can protect you, I will.

Aragorn is a character in the Middle-Earth universe. There is a description of him at TheOneRing.net.

Like Someone I know....didn't disclose her full name....:)

There are 13 letters in your name.
Those 13 letters total to 59
There are 5 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

Spanish Female Honorable.

Latin Female Diminutive of Catherine: Pure, clear. Form of the Latin 'Katharina', from the Greek 'Aikaterina'. It was borne by a number of saints, including St Catherine of Alexandria, a 4th century martyr who suffered torture on a spiked wheel.

Irish Male Observant; alert; vigorous. Famous Bearer: radio personality and voice of 'Scooby-Doo' (cartoon dog) Casey Kasem.

Irish Female Brave; Vigilant.

Greek Female Honorable. Biblical; acacia wood was used to build the wilderness Tabernacle.

Gaelic Male Brave.
Gaelic Female Brave.

French Female Diminutive of Catherine: Pure, clear. Form of the Latin Katharina, from the Greek Aikaterina.

English Male From a polish word meaning 'Proclamation of peace.' A diminutive of Casirnir, Cassandra, or Catherine. Popularized as a boy's name by the American folk song 'Casey Jones'.

English Female Diminutive of Cassandra: Cassandra was a Trojan prophetess, daughter of King Priam. This name became popular in medieval Britain, and fashionable in the USA in the mid-2Oth century. A diminutive of Casirnir, Cassandra, or Cathedne.

Celtic Male Brave.

Biblical Female Refers to the Biblical acacia wood that was used to build the wilderness Tabernacle.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 5

A Soul Urge number of 5 means:
The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.

In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.

You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.

Your Inner Dream number is: 9

An Inner Dream number of 9 means:
You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and what to help them. You would love to be a person people count on for support and advice.

Take the test at this site: http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

Nathan Petrelli

I'm a shark, Pete.
Congratulaions, you're Nathan Petrelli! You've got all the qualities of a stereotypical politician. You're ambitious, practical, and you've got more than a healthy sex drive. Still, as much you want to succeed in your field, you don't enjoy the attention that comes from being "different", and you are willing to lie to fit the image you want to present. Your worst quality: Ambition--you will make your way to the top of any career. Your worst quality: Anything for the votes--you will do whatever it takes.




My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 1% on Idealism

You scored higher than 3% on Nonconformity

You scored higher than 5% on Nerdiness

The Heroes Personality Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=4885834462883321217

Watched MAURICE again. Quite the pleasant watch. And a most eye-opening experience at that after seeing it again after all these years. Based on the book by EM Forster and posthumously released, Maurice’s story is that of a young man who comes into grace and his subsequent downfall.

By grace I mean of his adolescent years and the decision he makes as he partakes of society and of its trappings of position and power and by fall, by way of losing his innocence that marked his journey at the beginning and his sense of naivete in the world, knowing that people operate differently. And amidst that, having to deal with the longing in his heart; that is to spend his life with someone he loves, someone who can love him back; in short, another man.

Set in the early 1900’s a little over after the turn of the century in England, it was a most critical and crucial time to state and to person much less to even be aware of one’s nature and to give in to it, knowing that the end result would be shame and ruin. One would have to go out on a limb for it, similar to what Maurice did.

Now, did it pay off? I guess you would have to read the book or watch the film and similarly pray that local bookshops would begin to carry this elusive piece of work. But I won’t spoil the fun and go on to tell you that watching it the second time around and having grown older since the last to appreciate the act and nuance of words and spoken lines, the whole experience was like watching the film for the very first time. Gone were the days when the characters of Maurice, Clive, Ann, and Scudder were merely names to remember and contend with, but rather they represent different archetypes and levels of society and awareness in that given time. They were either people in the middle of society’s changes; from both ushering it into the new world to merely settling for the effects as it trickles and dawns into their lives. Or to those who merely sit by the sidelines and let the glorious sands of life just merely pass them by without knowing any better.

And yet men not to mention women only could aspire to know as much during 1910, homosexuality was even frowned upon at that time and even if Oscar Wilde was gaining popularity and notoriety as a playwright, Forster’s book was not even released only until after his death. Today things have taken a turn for the progressive as England has been one of the first nations to embrace the union of gay marriages, having Elton John and George Michael among the celebrities to openly endorse the government move by having themselves registered as same-sex lifetime partners.

Such turn of events was only aspired to and dreamt of in Maurice’s time as he had to wrestle that utopian society in his mind when Clive, played by Hugh Grant came to profess his love for him. Having spent so much time together being students at Cambridge, it was but a natural act for Clive to do; to outpour his feelings to this man whom he spent so much time with. But Maurice being the archetype of a closeted gay man rebuked him. And when only when he had time to ruminate and finally coming to his senses soon found himself transformed and succumbed to his feelings and allowed Clive into his heart; so much so that he let him in too deep that when the world came between them he almost could not bear it.

At this point in the viewing, the precarious relationship of both Clive and Maurice can be flayed on like meat to be scrutinized to no end as to who manipulated whom and who got the bad end of the deal. But it all boils down to passivity and having the “balls” to go after what one truly wants and desires, a quality of which Hugh Grant was able to convey in the film as he shrank bank into his own “closeted” world, broke off with Maurice and re-emerged into society as a straight and married man.

How many of us would have the stamina and drive to pursue what we want,let alone brave a lone trek to reach our goals and dreams to find out that it meant sacrificing a better part of ourselves? How many men in this modern day and age have both gone thru what Clive did and dared to both dream of that life; a life of having a loving man in their lives and a woman alongside him with their children in tow. Either that or throw one’s passivity out the window and brave what most gay men who are sure of themselves the road less traveled only time it rewarding and life affirming in the end. And only upon reaching the end would one consider that particular road fully traversed and consider a journey taken.

Clive and Maurice both took that road and ended up two different people at the end of the journey so much so that their roles were reversed. Clive becomes the repressed and closeted gay man refusing to look into the past and yet never forgetting while Maurice amidst initial resistance and condemnation chooses to embrace his nature fully. A reversal of fortune or merely a realization of a journey?

Either of the two would suffice but it would both demand results; results from a path taken and ventured so that the order of the Universe is tested and tempered and we like the characters in this brilliantly adapted film are left to ponder upon about the choices we make and if we were ever needed to make those choices.

Perhaps most people wouldn’t understand the burden of making choices along these matters for gay men have it differently; from having no specific role models to choose and emulate from while growing up and at the same time being dictated by society on how and what to do. And if ever a role model was ever found, they themselves are bound by the very cords that binds gay men who would want nothing more than to be free to express themselves in the most natural way ever. And in doing so, attune to the yearnings of the heart; that somewhere out there, there is indeed another man who can heed one’s call, who matches up to the standards or levels of preference that one prescribes and equally accepting of one’s flaws and limitations.

Such a tall task to ask? Perhaps not. But gay man or not, that is equally the goal that every human being aspires to in relationship. Perfectly free of whatever trappings of inconsistency and incongruence to point that both parties are able to open their heart, mind and soul to their partner with no fear of recoil or revulsion.

As the saying goes, make your bed and lie on it. In this case, Maurice has come to realize that in making your own bed, you get to choose who gets to lie on it with you and in effect come out the victor and not the victim.

What is A Life not Lived, but a Life not Loved...

As subtle as it is, this is the basic lesson that one can gleam from after watching the movie adaptation of the Anne Proulx novel. But unlike some lessons in life and in regular movie watching, the film doesn’t openly tackle this on and the director has given us a perfect exercise in patience and nuance all in one serving; one that spans more than an hour and half’s worth of viewing.

Coming out of the theatre, I didn’t think much of the haunting quality that the film has and high praises for the movie as the sole basis. I knew that I wanted to see it from the first day I heard about it from a friend and immediately wondered if such a film would ever see the light of day here so that local moviegoers would be to treat themselves to a beautiful, lyrical and metaphorical piece of art.

Could one call it providential if not coincidental that Ang Lee, who directed an earlier gay-themed hit, Wedding Banquet be tasked with the job of being at the helm of a similar and yet even more profound of a film? Perhaps there is a higher hand at play here, equally choosing him for the task and for the people who wanted to have the film made with him initially in mind.

What makes the film work on a subconscious level is its inimitable play for symbolism and cryptic references to archetypes; those that society has lulled us into playing and drummed enough fear of impending consequence into us should we stray from it.

Oscar nominee Health Ledger plays Ennis del Mar; a down on his luck cowboy living in Wyoming in 1963. With an impending engagement and the need for stability he goes to look for a honest job that would tide him over during the summer season. His train brings him to a job offering that requires him to tend sheep for the summer months.

He and Jack Twist, the character played by Jake Gyllenhaal are the only contenders for the job and so have taken upon themselves to the task. However, it would be a division of labor as one would set up camp and other to tend the flock. Along with this, the job also required that neither of the two hands should be at the same spot. The sheepherder comes to camp only on meal times and goes back to the flock in the field afterwards. He is not to stay in camp lest wolves and poachers get to the sheep without their knowledge as it has happened in the past.

The movie plays on in different sequences as the two men learned to deal with the hazards of the job; from meeting up with bears and losing your food ration in the process, or to the mundane situation of having to eat the same rationed food every mealtime. The only thing that took them away and made them forget the routine of their jobs is the series of talks that they have together. And with one talk leading to another and an eventual binging of booze and food, the two become drunk and in that fateful early morning discover what they are capable of being for each other.

I for one delighted at the mixed reaction that the crowd gave out; from peals of delight and giggles to horrendous gasps for air out of awe and disgust at having to men go express their love for each other more physically than most, it was the very least that this movie has done for the movie going public. Because after watching the film, one could just simply regard the film as the “quintessential gay cowboy” film that got robbed the Oscar. If that’s the case then that would be merely scratching the surface for the film goes much deeper than that so much so that the Oscar winning score, by way of the intermittent guitar plucking with the vast expanse of the Wyoming horizon looming in the background adds to its already brooding and haunting quality.

The film basically centers on two of the archetypes that we can easily relate to. The archetypes of the Dreamer and the Doer. And that’s what some moviegoers fail to see as all they see are the visages of two men groping each other and coming to terms with their feelings for one another.

Tom Ford, the designer of Gucci, once said that for him human sexuality is fluid, it could go either way. Ennis, Heath’s character, with his garbled way of speaking and expressing himself is the person in the film who could not come to terms with his blossoming sexuality.
Ennis, was traumatized as a kid when his father brought him to see a dead man lying in a ravine with his genitals all bloodied after being tied to a cart and pulled like an animal. This incident was so embedded in his subconscious that he felt that he would suffer the same kind of condemnation should he acknowledge what was growing inside of him; the realization that one man can be attracted to another.

He reflects the very same conflict that most unprepared gay men feel when they come face to face with this realization at a crucial time in their lives and without proper guidance would instead revert back into their closet and be more closed, withdrawn and miserable than when they first came out. However if done right and with the proper set of friends and supportive people in their lives, they would come out of it feeling better and happier about themselves and learn to accept their true nature in the process.

That facet in the film’s characterization of Ennis was something that I chanced upon after pondering about it afterwards. I got so distracted and strained my ears to a point in trying to understand each and every word that Ennis was trying to say. Understand that in the film Ennis is a southerner and being played by an Australian actor trying to mimic the accent doesn’t help at all. And I guess the reason the director, Ang Lee, adopted that ploy was to further heighten that part of Ennis that he could not handle. That how could a butch, masculine cowboy like him ever see himself being physically intimate with another man. How could he even dream of living his life with another man?

It runs contrary to his and society’s perception and required pattern of a behavioral norm. Deep down inside him he dreams of that; of one day waking up to society where he is not condemned for what he yearns for and hopes; and so he ends up being who he is all through his life; paralyzed by his own fear and a victim of his inability to act. A Dreamer.

Jack Twist, played by Jake Glynenhall, on the other hand, the more liberal and emotionally progressive of the two, exemplifies the Doer in us all. He, in his own way is also a dreamer but takes it one notch higher as he dares to do something about it and makes it manifest for himself.

He is not afraid at instigating the relationship and to push the boundaries under which it operates but among the two is able to at least voice it out and lays it out in the open as he confesses the dream that he has for the both of them; that is to share and have a life together. Between the two he is also the first to acknowledge his feelings for Ennis and validates it by saying it out in the open; something that Ennis cannot do and struggles with all throughout in the film

Jack is altogether comfortable in his own skin as he sought out other pleasures from other men, because Ennis could not be there for him all the time, and it was impossible geographically for he was in Texas and Ennis was rooted in Wyoming.

Jack comes to defend his behavior when Ennis in a spurt of jealousy physically threatens him if there is another man in his life by saying how dare Ennis condemns him for something he goes into for the one thing that he yearns for is something that Ennis could not give no matter how much they try.

As a direct contrast to Ennis’ negation, borne out of fear, Jack could always be counted on to revert back to the one thing that gave him strength; the vision that he would hold true and keep till the end of the film. That if they were both willing, he and Ennis could have the life that they wanted. Here the facet of the dreamer ends and the doer enters as he acknowledges it and maps out the possible steps to take in order to see that dream come to fruition.

Having done that, then the occasional “fishing trips” that they take in Brokeback mountain, would more be of a reality than just a dream. That they would take control and let their reality be what they want and will it to be rather than be slaves to the dictates of society and be pegged into positions that it has selected and deemed appropriate for them.

Never in the film was what they had ever made to be against religion but more against of the accepted norm that which the milieu of their society at that time expects and dictates as Ennis negates the very suggestion of happiness that Jack brings up time to time; a suggestion that not only is a way out of the circumstances that they feel powerless to change; but rather a way in for another path and possibility to take.

And seeing what Ennis does in the film, I cannot help but be reminded of how many of us out there have actually tread the same road that he was on; that we constantly deny our own road to happiness just because it is in conflict with that other people expect from us; from our parents; friends; colleagues and even tradition.

And in relation to that, who among us have been the Jack in our lives and constantly follow up the things that we hope to have and achieve for ourselves? Have we been honest in what we feel about the circumstances in our lives or merely acknowledge that we are powerless to change it while at the same whine and complain about not wanting them in the first place and yearn for a better one at the same time?

With the theme that underlines their respective circumstances, the two main characters in the film could have been easily substituted with either a Christian and a Moslem and how they long to be together amidst the backdrop of the constraints of their respective religion; or if not a married man torn between his obligation to his wife and his growing devotion to another woman or vice versa. Because if all we see about Brokeback mountain is the story of two gay men; one repressed and one who expresses himself; then the movie has failed to convey to us that which it serves to remind.

That it is in our hands as to which archetype we belong to, the Doer or the Dreamer.

If we see that and openly acknowledge as to which among the two we belong, then at least recognition of where we are in our lives would serve as the catalyst to invoke changes where we want them and when we want them to happen.

By doing so, we would have at least succeeded in being in step and closer to the goal that we want in our lives and in turn, reach and live the Brokeback mountain in our lives, amidst the real world of shattered dreams, unrequited love, failed relationships and promised successes instead of just dreaming and living it in our imagination and in the world of wishful thinking.

All of these come into play regardless of the amount of effort we put into the many events that populate our myriad lives. It all falls under the cosmic rule of cause and effect. Do you want success in your life and yet not seek out the job that you want? Do you want love or at the very least a relationship to come into your life and yet you stay at home and don’t go out meeting people for dates?

How much do you want it? Ask yourself. Because if you want something so bad to effect in your lives? Then you must do the first step, cause it first.

Because like the painful and bittersweet lesson that Ennis learns at the end of the film. A Live not Lived is a Life not Loved.